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Dec 3, 2022Liked by Andrew Thomas

An interesting essay, thank you. I have been thinking about responsibility all day. In the garden of Eden where there are only Adam and Eve, then surely both Adam and Eve are responsible for their perceptions and consequently judgements on the other. Therefore each could be responsible for the other

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I think there might be something in that.

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I never considered this from the Biblical perspective and I suspect other religions have similar gendered teachings.

"Adam should simply have taken the blame “like a man” ...

This is what I understand to be "toxic masculinity":

It is a man shaming other men into "manning up" to responsibilities for things that are not under his control.

Likewise your religious friend thinking that Adam should have put Eve "in her place" makes "her place" one of subordination: Just an innocent virtuous victim of "misogyny" and free from agency or blame, while indeed we all know too many men are controlled by manipulative females.

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There's so much in here, my reply may as be a book. Perhaps there are natural differences between the sexes and they should be celebrated as they used to be, while recognising in some ways that things have changed.

Been thinking a lot, not just about truth and responsibility etc, but about "heros" as mentioned by JBP himself in his 12 Rules book. The thing is, if you eliminate praise (i.e. by making masculinity toxic), then there can be no heros. And whom would that benefit?

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Like most I was raised to see masculinity as virtue, but I realized it just wasn't me and throughout my childhood t was a source of deep seated self loathing and shame (and eventually persuaded me I was transgender).

Lately tried to understand the perspective of feminists and saw how putting women on a pedestal made them feel they were insignificant, more like a pet than a partner in life. A lot of this stems from religious teachings of certain Abrahamic faiths. My conclusion was that masculinity as an ambition produces heroes and is worthy of admiration, but it becomes toxic when it is asserted over others.

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